I am honestly at a loss for words on how to comfort you during these tough times of yaya coming and go. It’s so difficult for me to adjust every single time we change yaya or have a new reliever, and I couldn’t imagine how much more to you. I don’t exactly know what’s going on inside your mind and I’d love to know. But each kiss and hug you give me, each call and loving look, somehow, reassures me that despite the instability of a second childcare provider, you still feel loved. And, you are very much!
I want to write this letter to apologize for all my shortcomings, for being too serious sometimes, for the times I lost patience because I’m too narrow minded. I’m sorry for having too much expectations on you because someone said you should be like this or that. I’m sorry for expecting you to know things that even I don’t know. I’m sorry for listening to those people who don’t even know you like I do.
Know that I am not sorry when you ignored people because you don’t know them, I’ll have the same reaction. People expect too much from you, but they didn’t actually try to get to know you and just judge you based on their few minutes of encounter with you. It’s sad that most people are that way, if only they will spend time with you, they’ll know how amazing and sweet you are.
Lately, you’ve been making great progress in adapting into our situation. I don’t know how you do it but I am observing and learning from you. You always find joy in everything, at one point you will just laugh out loud and make the room happier. Thank you, N, for showing me how easily we can just laugh our way out into this stressful situation. I’m so grateful to have you as my son and my person.
You were there to make me smile and laugh, and you never leave me when I burst into crying. You didn’t push me to get over my emotions, you let me feel it and get over it on my own phase. You’re really my greatest teacher.
Thank you N! I love you so much! Everyday, you make me realize how easy it is to love you and how lucky I am to be a part of your life and most especially to be called your mother. It’s a great responsibility, honestly, a bit scary at times; but I promise to always try to be at my best and if I fell short sometimes. Thank you for always being patient at me.