There are moments in our life that sometimes would make us think of giving up. There are people that will make us feel that we are not enough and so we may end up doing nothing at all. Because, in those moments, one will think: what’s the point, right?
Sadness will crawl all over your body, crippling you like a disease, you try to smile and laugh, but the sadness is too strong that you will still end up crying. You look for someone who will be there with you and stay with you through the sadness, until you cry it all out and then, it will dry up and you can be happy again. Unfortunately, you are all that you have.
You will shed tears and cry your heart out, until it will feel like there’s no more to cry. But deep down, you know, you’re just tired, that the sadness will creep up again. In this moment, you are grateful for the exhaustion of crying all night, for you can now go to sleep. In the morning, you will actually look for the sadness. Instead, a smile will be painted on your face because the sadness is no longer there. You will proceed to life as you know it. You will do things as you normally do. No one would ever know about your night, no one would care to ask. Even if they do ask, you can always say you’re fine. And, this time around, it was an honest response.
Days will passed. These days were filled with laughter, real laughter, human connections and everything was just a bliss. You are grateful and your heart filled with joy. It’s hard to believe that you can be this happy again, but you are. You try and accept this happiness, but fear would subtly creep up on you, now, you’re scared that everything might snap out from you. And, your unwanted friend would come back again.
Months will passed. Your unwanted friend was nowhere within a kilometer radius. You are breathing with a light heart. When you smile, you smile with your heart. Everywhere and everything just feels right and you’re relieved. You finally accepted that you are indeed happy and can be happy. You also accepted the fact that the sadness may come and go. But you’re heart is now covered in a layer of happiness , you are protected and stronger than before.
And, when you accepted all this, you gain the courage to tell a person what you went through and he was all ears. He did not say a word but he hugged you and helped you wipe your tears. You are heard and that hug provides comfort and an extra layer on your heart.
In the morning, when you look at the mirror, you tell that person how she is enough. That she’s a wonderful person capable of doing things and allowed to make mistakes. She is a person who knows how to love and be loved. She is you. And, you are enough! You are loved!
Love, Mommy A 